Since Saturday afternoon, Peeper has nursed four times, two of which were maybe for a minute. She’s not nursed at all since 6 am yesterday, 40+ hours ago.
Tonight, when it was time to go to sleep, I asked her what she was going to do, did she need me to do anything to help her sleep? “No, just sing to me.”
A few minutes later, she rolled to me and said, “Goody!” I got unhooked, but before I could get it out, she said, “I don’t want any. I changed my mind.”
I’d like to ask her what she’s got in mind, if she has any idea.
It just seems to strange for it to be so sudden. A week ago, I was saying, “Is this kid ever going to wean?” and was 100% certain that she would still be nursing when she starts kindergarten in six months, and possibly when she turns six in October.
Now, I’m not sure she’ll go a couple more weeks to hit sixty-four months.
She does tend to do things that way, though. Three years ago, she went from literally not putting two words together to speaking in full sentences in the course of about a month. When she was three, she decided one night to sleep in her Big Girl Bed, and has ever since.
(Potty training is another matter. She’s been out of diapers since her third birthday and is still peeing herself on the regular. But I digress.)
So, yeah. I don’t know about this.
Of course, my goal all along has been for her to nurse as long as she needs to, and to self-wean when she’s ready, and I know that I’ve had a whole lot more time than most mamas get out of that deal, and I know that if she’s going to be done, then she’s going to be done because it’s time and because it’s right for her, but damn, it’s hard to wrap my head around the possibility that she really may be seriously about done.
When they talk about “weaning without tears” they aren’t talking about mama’s, are they?
Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall
I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you.
I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don’t get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don’t break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.